Nothing like being exiled to the confines of a desk for the first nice day in weeks. I am a firm believer that being inside, in general, is pretty shitty. All of my energy, instead of being focused on the task at hand, goes to projecting an almost tangible image of trails in the forefront of my mind. I can feel the burn of the first climb, the innate urge to smile, hoot and holler down the first fast and flowy section... And then almost as quickly as the image popped into my head, it is torn away and I am thrust full force back into the calculated monotony of Monday afternoon. There is one thing that helps me to escape the clutches of mind-numbing boredom and angst; bike porn, lots and lots of bike porn. Minutes melt into hours and hours into full work days. Frames, forks, cranks, wheelsets, everything Kashima coated and Shimano M980, even Excel spreadsheets of head tube angles and chainstay lengths; they all hold a majority of my brain power, heart and wallet. Enough bullshitting, lets get to the juicy stuff. Is it the color, the elegant sloping toptubes and plunging downtubes, the precision of the welds (or lack of welds), or is it simply that photo from the perfect 3/4 ass angle that is so alluring? Looking at a frame or component, it takes only seconds to recognize whether you want to use your grocery monies and pull the trigger or see it melted back down into oblivion. This is pure aesthetics we're talking about. To be fair, every bike should have a full and prosperous life, don't you think? Regardless, how about some nice pictures from my personal stash? The gigabytes of bike porn that are currently slowing my computer to a pitiful and painful halt, are in a word, extraordinary. Lets take this '10 Turner DHR for example. My right kidney is already beginning to fear the possibility of donation and is starting to say goodbye to its leftish counterpart.
How about a look at my current object of obscene desire? I would do terrible things for this. Well maybe not too terrible. Ask me if I would do a certain thing for this beautiful machine and I will answer you truthfully. Behold, the Ibis Mojo HD.
Possible build specs include but are not limited to: '11 Fox Talas 36 160mm, Hope Tech M4's, Chris King ISO Disc/Stans ZTR FLow/ DT Swiss Wheelset, Shimano M980 Cranks/Cassette/RD, ENVE (Previously EDGE) Cockpit bits... I could go on for a nauseating amount of time and into grotesque detail, but in the interest of the reader's sanity I will quit now.
If the HD is not in my future, I would be more than willing to settle down with one of these:
I shouldn't even be talking about all of this, it is getting me hot and bothered and I need to do some work. Help?
In an effort to help you fellow bicycle lovers avoid the drone of a lecture, the deathly grasp of rush hour traffic or the seemingly infinite span of time between now and five o'clock, I give you THIS. This magical, mind-tingling broadcast was recommended to me by my beautiful female counterpart and partner in crime. At the opposite end of the spectrum from objectifying these sexy rigs under my aesthetic lens, Radiolab broadcasts have provided me with some of the most intellectually scintillating topics and ideas I have encountered in a while. May I suggest listening to the Episode titled 'Limits' under Season 7? A brief synopsis: "How much can you jam into a human brain? How far can you push yourself past feelings of exhaustion? We test physical endurance with a bike race that makes the Tour de France look like child’s play, and mental capacity with a mind-stretching memory competition. And we ask if robots--for better or worse--may be forging beyond the limits of human understanding." The broadcasts themselves are beautifully done and are an aural pleasure to say the least.
So give it a listen, or go drool over some bike parts. Either way, I wish you the best of luck avoiding another Monday.
